maybe it is fine

week 8 of semester 2

and I am soo soo sooo drained. I am drained.
to top that. I am so anxious about my grades.

I have 7 more weeks till final assessment. and. 2 more semesters before I officially graduate.
over and done with student-life, grades, cliché student politics, and on and on.

oh. THAT is if I stay on in this school.

dear Lord. you have no idea what I am surrounded with. please send backup soon.
in the mean time, keep my hands warm, regulate breathing. do not panic. keep calm and carry on to conquer the world. or, at least die trying.

untitled

I think I look strange. Masculine. Hideous. Disproportion-ed.

Amongst all the delicate fine pretty young things, I stick out. 

And.
Probably. When I turn 35, I'll be mistaken for a transvestite gone wrong.

 

Now. Armed with this terrible terrible looking scar on my left fore arm which I got from an accidental accident last year, that is born to stay with me for eternity, hideous me has attained a brand new level.

sunday afternoon earworm : Chvrches

Chvrches - The Mother We Share in session for BBC Radio

confession #101 - addicted to internet window shopping

 all that bloody mountain loads of time wasted window shopping on the internet and buying nothing, except adding to my bookmarks under my "Want List". then having to clear it all off at the end of the month. damnit. I odd to spend my time wisely and not bloody do mindless internet window shopping.

odd to slap myself if I hit ASOS or Urban Outfitters just one more time for no apparent reason to shop for new clothes.

burning a hole in my pocket and I haven't got any more damn space in my closet.

talk about space in my closet. I odd to set up a stall at the flea market. rid off all my stuff. my closet is seriously full and its exploding! sheesh. I can't believe I bought so much damn junk. obvious where all my pay cheque over the years have gone: my closet.

NOTE TO SELF: STOP INTERNET WINDOW SHOPPING. STOP BUYING THINGS!

the photo's looks queer after flipping horizontally. not used to seeing my room mirrored.

this whole week has been a draaaag. it will be a drag till the end.
semester vacation is coming in 2 months and I haven't secured an internship spot. oh dear.
panic. :(

much home work to do this weekend.
I'll be cooped up at home. unless I can just focus the hell up and get things done ASAP, I could head out under the nice warm sun to have some fun...

WERK WERK

busy drawing up a storyboard for my animation project. topic: (something i'm obsessed about) the influenza pandemic/ avian flu.
from sketches to final animation by today. new project to work on the next day. wo-oh-oh, this week will be an epic busy busy week.

familiar feeling

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. [...]  I’m notangry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” ― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

valentine's day suprise

received flowers on Valentine's Day from someone special. knowing that flowers cost a bomb on this very day, and I'm getting 3 sunny sunflowers in a pretty large bouquet, I feel the monetary pain for him. so he knows: I like it very much. thank you. it's sitting by my bedside table. it's gonna greet me every morning.


anway, been spotting photo floods of chicks receiving brocolli from their other halves on Facebook for Valentine's Day. not sure what's going on, but it sure is strange.

brocolli for dinner, my love?

miss grumpy

3a.m. in the morning. getting ready to go to bed.
but I just can't rest my weary little head on my pillow till I let out my "down & grump"-ness off my chest.

yes. I am.
down. and. grumpy.

could be the weather. its been pouring everyday. there's hardly any sun.
it's moody. it's depressing.

could be my tummy. it's been acting up. can't seem to get food down.
I wonder if it's my liver. getting fatty from all the rich intake.

could be me. afterall, i am not happy with where i am and being uncertain about the future.
makes me worry. one of the many things I do all day: worry. it could be how irritated i am with pretty-young-things emerging. boy, I sound like an evil old lady hiding around the corner hoping to feed on PYTs. if only that would give me my years back and let me be forever 16.

I am grumpy. over a bizillion and one things.
one of those days. those grumpy, angry days.
those days when everything just don't fall into place. when nothing is right even though it is.

3am. time to hit the sack.
may my grumpiness be gone by tomorrow morning.

long long day it is tomorrow.

oh dreadful.

even more dreadful when you don't enjoy the company you're in.

oh well. suck it up. keep head high and just waddle across.

it'll be over in no time.
in no time. 

happy lunar new year

celebrating the year of the snake with a couple of new shoes

and paying my aunt and her new home a visit

wearing hints of red & gold for the first day of the lunar new year

my darling hiding under the chair as rain pours on outside

lesson learnt

friendships and relationships are about working things out together.
a two way thing. nothing will ever change if, the work is just a one sided affair.
i guess, if you really love and care for someone and want a lasting relationship, you need to convince them to work together to create a happier healthier relationship. if the opposite party, isn't keen, you jolly well know how much this relationship is worth to them.

one failed relationship doesn't mean the end of the world.
i'll have to look up and look forth.
i know i've got some stuff wrong. i guess this makes a good learning platform.

which spells for "women are from venus, men are from mars".

spotting quotes from goodreads.

feels like what I am always doing:
“Because she is afraid of not being supported,
she unknowingly pushes away the support she needs.”
― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus 


finally,  a quote i wish all men could read and remember,
“When a man can listen to woman's feelings without getting angry and frustrated,
he gives her a wonderful gift.
He makes it safe for her to express herself.
The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood,
the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs.”
― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

eternal sunshine

once in a while. i feel like watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. because i like it.
but can never bring myself to it. because it always makes me bawl my eyes out like no tomorrow.